A Message from the Voters
With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore
'Twas the night before voting, when all through the House,
Representatives
were plotting to throw Clinton
out.
The nooses were hung with unseemly care,
In hopes that Bill's neck soon would be there.
The Right Wing was sure, all snug as incumbents,
That talk of impeachment made Clinton redundant.
But mamma with kids' soccer, and other poor saps,
Got tired of listening to that Monica
crap.
And out in the country there arose such a clatter,
That even Rush Limbaugh
knew something was the matter.
Away to the polls folks flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains and voted Democrat.
That Newt Gingrich
missed it, it's hard to believe,
Paula Jones' nose would have
been harder to see.
'Til what to his wondering eyes should appear
But Democrat gains for
the coming New Year.
With minds like traps, all closed up and tight,
Republicans had made too many turns
to the right.
No longer like eagles, but as ducks that were lame
They jeered and they shouted and called Newt bad names.
"Now FANATIC! Now ZEALOT!
Now RIGHT WING EXTREMIST!
Now PETULANT! Now STUPID!
NOT SOMEONE TO LEAD US!"
They met in committees and raised such a din,
Then Gingrich was out and
Livingston in.
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up through the roof Hillary's
ratings, they flew
And right along with them went Bill Clinton's too.
And if he remembers what he has learned,
Stops handling and pawing each little intern,
Hillary just might decide it's worth staying,
And history forget Bill's slimy betraying.
If interns stay covered from head to foot,
And avoid being soiled with ashes or soot,
And if they can all just stay off of their backs,
Al
Gore will be running ahead of the pack.
His speech, how lifeless! His delivery unthrilling!
It won't make a difference, the economy willing!
His droll little mouth all drawn up like a bow,
"Forget campaign financing, I'm white as the snow."
But maybe, by 2K, politicians
will learn,
It's time to address the people's concerns.
They'd get broad support if they'd stay off the telly,
Just tell the truth and quit squirming like jelly.
We're worried and frightened when we get old ourselves,
Social Security will have been put on the shelf.
And when will they ever get it through their thick heads?
It's dealing with insurance and healthcare we dread!
We wish they'd quit talking and get back to their work,
Enact legislation, quit acting like jerks.
But with finger to wind and eyes to the polls,
They're churning out sound bytes, their virtues extolled.
When the Press is around they fight to the death,
To be first in line to blow out their hot breath.
And they're heard to exclaim when the camera's in sight:
"SOCIAL SECURITY
TO ALL,
AND A SMALLER TAX BITE!"
