Wooing on the World Wide Web
Most of the guys in Patty's gang were cute, nice and treated her with respect, but they just weren't marriage material. Their mommas' apron strings were a little too tight, and besides, they still had to raise their hands for permission to use the restroom.
You see, Patty teaches fourth and fifth grade, and most of the single guys she meets are between nine and eleven years old.
Perhaps that's why Meet by Faith -- a bulletin board for religious singles on the Prodigy service -- caught her eye. It offered an opportunity to interact with others who share her religious beliefs in a setting that was safe and comfortable. It seemed like innocent fun.
Innocent fun became serious fun back in October, when she responded to a post from Bill. Soon an online romance budded and, before long, they knew they had to meet. The only problem was, Bill's home was a five hour drive from Patty's.
Patty made that first trip, taking along her cellular phone to call for help if Bill turned out to be some kind of lunatic. Turns out he was crazy - about her. A whirlwind courtship by e-mail (she saves his letters on her hard drive), phone calls (he calls Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and every other Sunday. She calls on the off days.) and five-hour drives ensued.
Finally, last week, Patty made the announcement that broke the hearts of the fourth- and fifth-grade boys at her school -- not to mention her mechanic and her long-distance phone carrier. She and Bill will be married this July.
Congratulations are in order -- and a bit of advice.
Patty and Bill, take it from an old married man, and a veteran of long-distance romance, you are about to face one of the most difficult tests to confront young couples, VALENTINE'S DAY. One slip, and you'll hear about it for the rest of your lives. Fortunately for you -- and all the other online lovers out there -- I offer the ...
WEB DETOURS GUIDE FOR ONLINE VALENTINES
First of all, have you considered checking out Digiphone? It's a software product that lets you call long-distance over the Internet. After you purchase the software, your only cost is connect time. Maybe it's not the quality you're used to, but if love is blind, it can also be partially deaf.
It's been a while, but if I remember correctly, some of the long hours I spent on the phone were filled with silence as I groped for the right words to express my passion. If you find yourself with a similar case of lover's block, check out the Cyrano Server. Submit a brief description of your beloved and Cyrano responds with a personalized poem. It's not great literature, but remember, guys get extra credit for poetry.
Of course, you'll also need a Valentine card. Build-A-Card lets you custom design a card -- complete with clip art and your own message -- and post it to the Web. It's a clever bit of programming, although it can take quite a while to finish a card. Once you're finished, Build-A-Card e-mails your sweetheart the URL of the card you've created.
If your Web wooing is as successful as the online flirtations of Patty
and Bill, you'll want to check out the soc.couples.wedding
page which features the FAQ -- frequently asked questions -- from
the newsgroup of the same name, along with other wedding links. Confirmed
bachelors and bachelorettes who find this site bookmarked in their significant
other's browser should realize they've passed the point of no return.
Can the pitter patter of little Web feet be far away?
