Have you been paying attention?
It has come to my attention that some of you haven't been paying attention. This unfortunate situation leaves me no alternative but to throw a pop quiz. If you all do well, maybe next week we can get back to the regular column.
You may now begin.
1. HTML is HyperText Markup Language and VRML is Virtual Reality Modeling Language what is PMPL?
- A. Peripheral Management Protocol Language.
- B. Best treated with Clearasil.
- C. Possibly the only combination of four letters not currently used as a Net-related abbreviation.
- B. Best treated with Clearasil.
2. Which of the following has NOT caused a major Internet outage?
- A. Programmer's error.
- B. The Irish Republican Army.
- C. A rat.
- D. E-mail "bombs".
- B. The Irish Republican Army.
Bonus: Name the service provider associated with each of the actual outages.
3. An anonymous remailer is
- A. A service which allows senders of e-mail to hide their identity.
- B. The postal worker who handles letters to Santa Claus.
- C. Someone who recycles envelopes.
- B. The postal worker who handles letters to Santa Claus.
4. Compared to the author of this column the average Internet user is:
- A. Rich
- B. Young
- C. Smart
- D. All of the above.
- B. Young
5. The Postal Service is proposing to offer e-mail verification services. The most likely result will be:
- A. The price of e-mail will go up.
- B. "Priority" e-mail which will be guaranteed to reach its destination in two to three days.
- C. A new rash of disgruntled postal worker jokes.
- D. FedEx will do it better, cheaper and faster.
- B. "Priority" e-mail which will be guaranteed to reach its destination in two to three days.
6. Currently, the best way to increase bandwidth is:
- A. ISDN
- D. ADSL
- C. 56 kps modems
- D. Seating the tubas between the trumpets and the trombones.
- D. ADSL
Bonus: What do ISDN and ADSL stand for?
7. The best way to protect children from pornography on the net is:
- A. Cyber Patrol
- B. Surf Watch
- C. Net Nanny
- D. Parental Supervision
- B. Surf Watch
The Answers:
Score five points for each correct answer.
1. C. If you answered B, give yourself two points and buy a spell checker.
2. Five points if you knew the IRA was innocent (B). Two bonus points for each of the following: AOL dropped off line in August due to a programmer's error. A rat shorted out the power at BBN Planet October 11 causing the L.A. Times, Apple Computer and others to lose access (the rat died). And rats of the human variety knocked out panix.com, a New York service provider, by flooding it with e-mail. Those rats got away.
3. The correct answer is A. The most famous anonymous remailer, the Finland-based anon.penet.fi, recently shut down after the Church of Scientology successfully sued to force it to reveal the name of a user.
4. D, all of the above. According to a cover story in the December issue of Internet World the average user is 33, earns $59,000 a year and has at least four years of college. On the other hand, I'm happily married. The average Internet user is single.
5. The correct answer is C, although the other answers are likely enough that you get credit for any of them.
6. D. The rest are expensive, experimental or not widely available. Three points each for Integrated Services Digital Network (ISDN) and Asymmetric Digital Subscriber Line (ADSL).
7. The correct answer is D, parental supervision which - with my father - occasionally involved a "hardware" solution. Of the software solutions, Cyber Patrol was rated "Best of Test" by Internet World.
Scoring:
35 or above: If you have a sense of humor, stay away from my editor. I need this job.
20 to 35: Passing
Less than 20: Are you sure you have the right column?
